images by Gaylon West

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The Scriptures do plainly teach that God offers grace in marriage. A good marriage is a gift from God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor (Greek: charis) from Jehovah” (Proverbs 18:22). Charis can be translated as "grace". So marriage is a grace from God. Or, God designed it to be His gift to you.

During the Sixties my wife and I enjoyed the Beatles' hit song "I Want To Hold Your Hand." The theme may have influenced many popular songs over the following years. Perhaps the words have been so appealing because it resonates with the hearts of mankind. What do people really want in life to make them happy and complete? The answer may be, "I want someone that I'm comfortable with; someone that cares for me and I them. I want the hand of a kindred spirit to hold." God has made us to physically fit with someone of the opposite gender. To have the same desires, hopes, aspirations, and direction in life makes it complete. It is not good that man should be alone.


Jimmy Stewart, in his acting role of a widowed father Charlie Anderson in the movie “Shenandoah”, was seated at the supper table. Charlie remarked that he had to say the blessing because he had promised his dying wife. He said something like this, “Lord, we cleared this land, we plowed it, sowed it, and harvested it. We took the harvest. It wouldn't be here and we wouldn't be eating it if we hadn't done it all by ourselves. We worked doggoned hard for every crumb and morsel, but we thank you just the same.”

This reminds me of the “scientist” who claimed that he was going to “create” a living being without God's help. He took some dirt. A voice came to him, “Wait there. That's my dirt; you said you were going to create something without me.”


Every man also to whom God hath given riches and wealth, and hath given him power to eat thereof, and to take his portion, and to rejoice in his labour; this [is] the gift of God” (Ecclesiastes 5:19).

When does one obtain God's gift?



And I have given the Levites [as] a gift to Aaron and to his sons from among the children of Israel, to do the service of the children of Israel in the tabernacle* of the congregation, and to make an atonement for the children of Israel:” (Numbers 8:19).               *later, the temple.

When are the Levites gifts of God?


Wherefore he saith, When he ascended up on high, he led captivity captive, and gave gifts unto men. ... And he [Jesus] gave some, apostles; and some, prophets; and some, evangelists; and some, pastors and teachers(Ephesians 5:8-11).

When are pastors gifts of Jesus?

                      from my book "Elders as Gifts of God"


For by grace are ye saved through [the] faith; and that not of yourselves: [it is] the gift of God(Ephesians 2:8).

When is salvation (grace) your gift of God?


He who finds a [good] wife finds a good thing, and obtains favor (Greek: charis= grace) from Jehovah” (Proverbs 18:22, KJV). “A man's greatest treasure is his wife-- she is a gift from the LORD” (CEV).

When is marriage a gift of God?

The answer should be obvious to us all-- that all of God's gifts are dependent upon what our choices are. You and I are free moral agents. Like Adam and Eve, we are given in a sense a “garden of life” and we are given abilities and responsibilities to enjoy what gifts God has prepared for us. It has always been the same for man from the beginning. Adam and Eve lost their paradise by choice but have this commendation: they held on to each other. Can we not hang on to each other by making marriage work? It helps if we together make that marriage be God's gift to us. We each must make God our choice. For marriage it takes both to choose God's gift.


note: God's grace is never defined in the Bible as "unmerited" favor. In a sense, it is merited. That is, one does what God wants him to do. First, he is to believe in this Jesus. This is a work designated from Heaven.
Noah received God's grace because he was obedient. Abraham received God's grace
because he was obedient; he went; he "killed" his son. But they did the works of God; not the works of men.
God's saving grace comes through obedience to the Faith (Eph. 2:8-10; Jude 3; Revelation 14:13; 20:12).
"Behold, I come quickly, and my wage [is] with me, to render to each as [2 work 3 will be 1 his]" (Revelation 22:12).
- Gaylon West
Throw Out the Lifeline