It is interesting what experiences we are told that that Jesus had had when a man. We are specifically told that Jesus is located in the temple at the age of twelve and is amazing the learned men of His knowledge. Then we skip in time until He's around 30 and is at a wedding feast. What happened during those “missing” years?

What Scripture Actually Says:

         After the Temple episode at age 12, Luke tells us only this: “He (Jesus) went down with them and came to Nazareth and was obedient to them… and Jesus increased in wisdom and stature, and in favor [grace] with God and men.” (Luke 2:51–52)

       That’s the entire biblical record for the next 18 years. No travels. No miracles. No teachings. No writings. Just growth, obedience, and ordinary life of a Hebrew first born son. Because the Bible is silent, many imaginative theories have emerged—none supported by credible evidence:

• Travel to India or Nepal to study with mystics

• Training with the Essenes in the Judean desert

• Journeys to Persia or Britain

• Visits to North America (a modern legend)

These ideas appear in folklore, esoteric writings, and 19th–20th century speculation and Ethiopian writings, but mainstream scholarship rejects them due to lack of historical support. The Bible gives no record of Jesus’ activities between ages 12 and 30. The most historically grounded view is that He lived an ordinary life in Nazareth, working as a tektōn (builder/carpenter) and maturing spiritually, physically, and socially. And since He did, we can understand fully God's personal experiential understanding of humanity's sufferings.

BUT WE CAN SURMISE from the following important passage:
“Is not this the carpenter, the son of Mary, the brother of James, and Joses, and of Juda, and Simon? and are not his sisters here with us? And they were offended at him.” - Mark 6:3-- King James Bible.

--Then they scoffed, “He’s just a carpenter, the son of Mary and the brother of James, Joseph, Judas, and Simon. And his sisters live right here among us.” They were deeply offended and refused to believe in him.” - Mark 6:3--New Living Translation.

The Most Historically Grounded Picture

• It is agreed that the Gospels focus on His public ministry, not His private upbringing.

• Jesus quietly lived in Nazareth during these years (13 years old upward to 30 years).

• But He was known locally working as a tektōn—“a craftsman, builder, or carpenter”—likely alongside Joseph, husband of Mary, when alive.

• As the firstborn He supported His family, especially after Joseph’s likely death.

• He grew according to the Scriptures “in wisdom, character, and favor (“grace”) with God and people.” He therefore lived a normal Jewish life, participating in the local synagogue, with Scripture study, community life and close relationship with His "dad". There is no reason for Him to have abandoned His family to associate with false religions, such as Hinduism, etc.

• He waited for the God the Father’s appointed time to begin His ministry at about age 30, a significant age for public religious leadership in Jewish culture.

OCCUPATION during the “silent years”. Whereas the Bible gives no record of Jesus’ activities between ages 12 and 30, the most historically grounded view (the towns people recognized Him as a builder or carpenter) is that He lived an ordinary life in Nazareth, working as a tektōn (builder/carpenter) and maturing spiritually, physically, and socially along side His earthly dad.

YEARS OF GRIEF.

Isaiah 53:3, “He was despised and rejected by men, a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief; and as one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed him not.”

The identity statement of being “the son of Mary, etc.” suggests that Jesus during this time is the “head” of the family. His supposed father Joseph was dead. Otherwise, the people would have identified Jesus as “the son of Joseph.” Since he had brothers and sisters, and we know he was the “firstborn” of Mary, then the Jewish custom would have made Him the man of the house and responsible for the welfare of the family.

       This would explain why Jesus gives John the responsibility of His mother Mary. "When Jesus saw his mother, and the disciple whom he loved standing near, he said to his mother, 'Woman, behold, your son!'. Then he said to the disciple, 'Behold, your mother!’" (John 19:26-27).

Being born under the Law (Gal. 4:4), Jesus was obligated to honor his parents. How perfectly he fulfilled that law, providing for his mother even on his deathbed. This counters Jesus traeling to India or any other place to gain information or an education. Jesus criticized the Pharisees for not honoring their fathers and mothers (Mark 7:8-13). Honoring parents was considered a virtue in the Roman world. Parents took care of their children, and children were expected to return the favor when parents grew old. Unlike the Romans, the rabbis made this rule legally enforceable. The obligation to honor parents appears in the Mishnah in the first chapter of Kiddushin (1:7) [https://www.jtsa.edu/torah/caring-for-our-parents/].

Anyone that has lost a close person will connect with Jesus and He with them in losing His close “earthly dad” plus the immediate responsibilities of being the oldest son. On the cross when Jesus transfers responsibilities of His obligation to the disciple the gospel according to John can thereby be understood. Widows lived under a variety of circumstances in the ancient world and this would explain an application of Jesus' responsibility to His widowed parent. (https://bibleinterp.arizona.edu/articles/widows-new-testament-period)

Jesus experienced the close departure of His foster father. Under Deuteronomy 21:15–17, the firstborn son was the principal heir and was entitled to a double portion of the father’s estate. This also meant he was the head of the family after the father’s death, with responsibility for managing the household and its resources Jewish Virtual Library+1. In the case of a widow, this role often included providing for her if she had no other male relative to care for her. After the death of a husband, a widow’s legal and economic security depended on her male relatives. If she had a son, especially the firstborn, he was expected to support her. JewishEncyclopedia.com The firstborn son’s obligation to his widowed mother in first-century Judaism was legal, social, and moral—he was the heir, the family head, and the one responsible for her care, remarriage (if applicable), and the continuation of the family name.

Jesus was acquainted with personal sorrow as being voluntarily a true human being (Philippians 2:4f) — including likely family loss — but Isaiah’s “Man of Sorrows” is agreed to referring to His unique mission of suffering for the sins of the world, not merely His earthly hardships. But I can see personal and humanity's suffering included as well.

So while admitting that the real point of Isaiah 53 may be considered referring to:

• Messianic suffering

• Atonement

• Rejection by Israel

• Bearing humanity’s griefs and sins

• His sacrificial death

Surely, Jesus Himself becoming man personally understands all earthly sufferings!

“He became sin for us” — 2 Corinthians 5:21

1. Greek phrase:

ἁμαρτίαν ἐποίησεν (hamartian epoiēsen) Literally: “He made Him sin.”

But in Jewish sacrificial language, “sin” (ἁμαρτία) can mean “sin-offering.” This is how the Septuagint (LXX) translates ḥaṭṭā’th in Leviticus.

So Paul is saying:

God appointed Christ as the sin-offering on our behalf.

This is not psychologically internalization, assimilation, or identification. It is sacrificial designation — the Lamb bearing the guilt of another.

2. “He bore our sins” — 1 Peter 2:24

Greek phrase:

ἀνήνεγκεν τὰς ἁμαρτίας (anēnenken tas hamartias) From ἀναφέρω — “to carry up,” “to offer,” “to bear as a sacrifice.”

This is the same verb used in the Septuagint for the priest carrying the sacrifice up to the altar.

Meaning:

Jesus carried our sins as a priest carries the offering.

Again — this is sacrificial bearing, not psychological incorporation.

3. “He nailed it to the cross” — Colossians 2:14

Greek phrase:

προσηλώσας αὐτὸ τῷ σταυρῷ (prosēlōsas auto tō staurō) Literally: “having nailed it to the cross.”

What was nailed?

Paul calls it:

χειρόγραφον (cheirographon) — “the written record of debt,” a legal term for a certificate of indebtedness.

Meaning:

Our legal guilt was transferred to Christ’s cross and publicly canceled.

This is courtroom language — not identity language.

4. “Our sins were laid on Him” — Isaiah 53:6

Hebrew phrase:

וַיהוָה הִפְגִּיעַ בּוֹ אֵת עֲוֹן כֻּלָּנוּ “The LORD has laid on Him the iniquity of us all.”

The verb פגע (pagaʿ) means “to strike,” “to cause to meet,” “to lay upon.”

This is judicial transfer, not psychological absorption.

Conclusion: We can most assuredly go to the Lord in our grief confidently knowing that He understands all our pain from personal experience. In other words, He has been there.