HAS SOMEONE HURT YOU?

Adapted from sermon by Slate Moore

Psychology Today ⁱ states that “all forms of bitterness starts from one feeling; hurt.”

God, our Father, forgives so much. Consider if we only sinned once a day and lived seventy years, we would have sinned 25000 times. Sinning once a day would surely be a conservative number. In Islam teaches that God will weigh one’s sins against his good works. If all of us weighed each day’s sin as a pound, our life of sins would weigh 12 plus tons. The Bible teaches that God forgives all of our sins by the covenant of the precious sacrificial blood of God’s Son Jesus. That covenant goes beyond the initial turning away from our past sins, being baptized and obtaining the gift of the Holy Spirit from the Lord’s apostles. It comprises our growing in the grace and knowledge of Jesus (2 Peter 3:18).

Jesus taught in the Sermon on the Mount that our forgiveness in the Kingdom is predicated upon how we forgive those that mistreat us. Matthew 5:7 (GNB), "Happy are those who are merciful to others; God will be merciful to them!”

Jesus’ covenant with us declares in Colossians 3:13b (CEV), “forgive anyone who does you wrong, just as Christ has forgiven you.”

Our initial response to the gospel of Christ obtains God’s forgiveness and acceptance (Acts 2:38-42). God’s great deed of forgiveness requires our appreciation. Romans 2:4, (NET), “Or do you have contempt for the wealth of his kindness, forbearance, and patience, and yet do not know that God’s kindness leads you to repentance?”

In our future should we anticipate a need to be forgiven yet more than God has initially forgiven us? In 1 John 1:8,9 (GNB), the apostle writes to Christians, “If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and there is no truth in us.   But if we confess our sins to God, he will keep his promise and do what is right: he will forgive us our sins and purify us from all our wrongdoing.”

DOES FORGIVENESS imply forgetting the harm? The answer is surely “no.” Mounceⁱⁱ says the Greek word simply means, “to send away, dismiss, suffer to depart; to leave remaining or alone; to leave behind.”ⁱⁱⁱ To leave the problem “behind.” We are to dismiss it. Let God handle it for us.

For our purpose “forgiveness” can be defined^iv as “giving up our right to retaliate.” Just as Jesus has paid the pain price for us, when we forgive we determine to absorb the pain of the harm done to us. We no longer have a motive of “the bad person gets it paid back” like a Hollywood movie. The “action” movies have the hero using martial arts and weapons to destroy the “mean” people. The audience is motivated to applaud the “pay back.” This illustrates the base feeling of retaliation and revenge. Revenge He has reserved unto Himself. The Book of Revelation pictures triumphant Jesus coming on a white horse in Judgment (Revelation 19:16). That picture is grand. But will that victory be for us or against us (Hebrews 10:30)?

FORGIVING IS NOT BEING BITTER. Bitterness never works. Forgiveness makes us free from bitterness for we are in harmony with God. Forgiveness is possible because we have a loving God who provides for us positive blessings. The apostle Paul in Ephesians 4:8 urges us to think good thoughts which would include positive responses towards our fellowmen.

The Bible teaches that it is foolish to be bitter. Job 5:2 (GNB), “To worry yourself to death with resentment would be a foolish, senseless thing to do.” Job 18:4 (GNB), “You are only hurting yourself with your anger. Will the earth be deserted because you are angry? Will God move mountains to satisfy you?”  To be bitter is simply hurting ourselves. Bitterness cannot change the past. Certainly wanting revenge cannot make a wrong right.

When a matter comes up, and we have to review the memory of a harm done [name your number] years ago, some would say that we have not forgiven the harm.

“Defaulting to bitterness can prolong one's mental and emotional pain and may even exacerbate it” (Psychology Today, see note i). Job 21:23-24 (GNB), “Some people stay healthy till the day they die; they die happy and at ease, their bodies well-nourished.  Others have no happiness at all; they live and die with bitter hearts.”  It can be said that it’s not what we eat, but it is what “eats us.” Bitterness is a bad option that hurts ourselves. Emotionally we hurt ourselves if we “hold it in” with bitterness.

WE DO NOT MIRACULOUSLY BECOME PERFECT AT initial obedience. Ephesians 4:13b [ERV], “Our goal is to become like a full-grown man—to look just like Christ and have all his perfection.”  The Bible addresses our needing more forgiveness in this growing process in the future.

This is certainly illustrated in the Lord’s [model] Prayer. Matthew 6:12, We ask for forgiveness as “we have forgiven others.” That’s the way it works. We cannot expect to receive what we are personally unwilling to give. Mark 11:25 (GNB) “ And when you stand and pray, forgive anything you may have against anyone, so that your Father in heaven will forgive the wrongs you have done."